a not-my-thing homemaker’s dichotomy

It is a very rare moment when I feel regret about staying home and bringing up my children in the fear and love of our amazing God. Maybe more income or more breaks from crying and messes would be nice once in awhile, but I never have to regret that I didn’t spend a vast majority of my hours each day caring for the precious ones that have been entrusted to my husband and me.

So, here’s an issue that I have yet to really understand- and I wonder if perhaps any fellow homemakers out there can relate.

Those of us who are stay-at-home/work-at-home moms know that we need to be doing our very best to spend wisely. God has called us to be good stewards of our finances after all. We can also see the example of the Proverbs 31 woman who is working a great deal of business from her home to add income or household needs via trade.

One side of the issue involves the concept of (watch out, here it comes)….couponing. There have been several different coupon classes, workshops, and website recommendations to help me with saving money on my grocery bill by clipping coupons, sorting coupons, filing coupons, studying ads, and driving to various stores each week to pick up the deals. It seems that most gals are spending 2-3 hours per week clipping and sorting their coupons.

I’m not sure if they’d all say that also includes the time spent sorting through the ads or the website listings to put together their shopping plan. It would also seem to me that it is taking well more than 2-3 hours per week to drive to the various stores on the particular days needed to achieve maximum savings- all with the hopes that they still have the items in stock.

I’m also not sure if they’re savings figures in the fuel spent in driving around, or the difference in price if they buy the store brand. There are so many ways to figure variables in these types of things, I guess.

Many gals have asked if I’ve gotten the “coupon bug” yet. I fully admit that I’ve tried my hand at it. My sweet next door neighbor (who is also home with her 3 young boys) and I agree- it’s not our thing.

Why?

Well, several reasons. Maybe I could be called a “brand snob”, “health nut”, or even just plain lazy when it comes to coupons and the products involved. Honestly, I do really love a good deal. I also do use coupons if I run across one for something I already use or have already determined I want to try (but as I mention below, most of the places I frequent don't have 'couponable' brands).

What I do not love is the temptation to buy something I would normally never buy that also happens to be full of ingredients I try to avoid- many of which may have allergens that could cause problems or hard feelings to my hypersensitive/allergic 8-year-old.

Another thing I do not love is driving to several stores several times per week. It just plain takes time out of my day that I’d rather spend on other things- I feel like I have to run around all over the place enough already, I guess.

The clipping, sorting, ad studying, online searches, etc. is also a big chunk of time- and it takes me waaay longer than 2 or 3 hours. I guess I’m slow, and also not terribly organized. Shocking, I know.

What DOES work for me, then? I enjoy spending my shopping energies this way:

-sitting down and planning out a menu of healthful meals for the month

-considering what is seasonal in produce, seasonal in main dishes, and what my family likes in general (not really into experimenting unless it involves a healthy veggie or fruit or grain we haven't tried)

-I am very fond of T.Joe’s (no coupons), A-LDI(also- no coupons), and a few select items from stores nearby my house (W.almart and F.oodL_ion), and a little at Ear.thFa-re.

-I typically get weekly needs and pantry stock items among these stores based on the quality or preference of taste in the item, but also factoring in the cost. I have a pretty good idea by now of how much everything should cost, what size is the best price, and if they have an overstock sale on something I use often, I’ll gladly get a few extra.

-It’s a beautiful bonus if the items I use happen to have a coupon attached, or I spy a coupon machine in the store with a product I use and trust. Sometimes the stores print coupons at the register for products I know and like, so I keep them in my wallet until I need them.

My receipt simply based on $ for groceries and household goods will likely look much different than the coupon gal’s will. That is obvious to me. I just know that factoring EVERYTHING in to the equation, I’m not convinced it’s something I’m called to do at this point in time.
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The other side of the issue involves home income and how to generate it. It’s one thing to work hard to SAVE money, but it’s also great to be able to bring some in.

Many gals have asked me if I would consider becoming a consultant selling ______, or ____, or _____. That usually only comes to play when I’ve first committed to attending a “party” that is intended for fellowship/girl time, but mainly centered around the featuring and selling of _____.

Again, for the record: It’s not my thing.

Why?

It is rare that one of these companies does not have a “starter kit” that is less than $100 to get you going. Usually, there is also a certain amount of parties or shows that need to be booked in order to be an official consultant.

I am NOT a saleswoman. I’ve known that since I was about my daughter’s age. Not my gift. Should I just put my fears aside and jump in on one of these great opportunities?

So, if I need to drum up shows/parties by asking my friends and family to host them, I’m asking them to spend money out of their budget to prepare food and party supplies for guests, sometimes mail invitations to guests, and take an evening to turn their home into a friendly store.

I would also need to sit down and convince these women that these products are the best to be found, and therefore worth a price far beyond what they would find at a discount store, online, using careful research, or simply in another brand with...perhaps even a COUPON.

There’s that coupon word again- hmmm. Many of these ladies look familiar in this imaginary room I’m trying to be a saleswoman in.

So are we trying to save, save, save while also trying to sell, sell, sell...or being caught in a position to spend, spend, spend in the arena of the sell, sell, sell? Bring on the heart of my confusion with this dichotomy!

Don’t get me wrong on one thing: I LOVE to get together with the gals and laugh, eat and enjoy their company. Another dear friend of similar mindset on this type of thing once told me, “to me, it makes about the same sense for us all to gather at a friend’s house, each bring a $20 bill, pass it around in a circle, and spend the rest of the night just having a good time.”

Ok- well, I don’t carry much cash, so can we skip the $20 bill?

Also, I don’t want my friends, neighbors, and family to resent me for pressure they might feel for hosting or buying stuff from me they don’t necessarily like or feel they want to spend that kind of money on.

It’s also hard when I get 3 invitations per week (that’s what the rate has been lately) to these things and I feel overwhelmed with rsvp’s and a negative feeling that I’m rude or letting a friend down.

Another thing- I don’t mind browsing a catalog on my own time outside of sales pressure to make the wisest decision possible- to me that also makes sense.

SO- am I being a big drag here? Probably to some, but it’s just where I’m at when it comes to these issues that I sense a fair amount of contradiction in when it comes to the realm in which I work. I know there are MANY out there who completely disagree with one or both of the issues I’ve rambled on about.

Lord grant me the wisdom to see through fallacy wherever it may lie, and to ultimately honor You in my deeds and words. Give me wisdom, patience, and Your Spirit’s guidance in all things.

spring breeaaak

AHHHHH- I think the family is really in need of this!

The boys have gotten extremely lax in getting up and ready to go in the mornings this past week. Many of the days they also suddenly realized (5 minutes before we need to be out the door) that they forgot to complete 1 portion of their homework.

Yes, this does reflect poorly on me for not asking them and checking to see that it was all done. I was getting to the point in the year that I was trusting them to know their routine like 2nd nature, but I guess it's true that a momma's work is never done!

When school let out on Friday, we have a full 9 days to chillax. However, most of those days are already filling up with fun!

Today (Saturday), Sis and I were going to run in the spring USMC_MudRun, but decided to stick around and catch up on things here. Sunday we have a full morning of worship and serving, then preparing for a lock-in with the middle school group after regular youth group.

Monday at 8am, the lock-in lets out, so we'll come home and crash! The boys are staying with friends, but hopefully they'll get more sleep than we likely will.

Tuesday we have a SURPRISE for the kids that is long overdue after swim goggles were received in their Christmas stockings and coupons for indoor swimming. ☺

Wednesday, Sis is having her kittencats' first birthday party with 3 of her good friends. They're planning a sleepover and lots of fun spoiling the cats.

Thursday night another family's kids will be coming to stay the night and play- the boys are close to Wilsonator and Xanman's ages, so they make great "guy time" and we love going out into the woods with the light sabers when they're here.

Friday night Sis and I are going to babysit for our neighbors' church while they have a special Good Friday service.

Saturday we'll be cooking up some Easter fixin's and preparing our hearts to celebrate our risen Savior on Sunday. We'll be having Easter dinner with a group of friends from church.

Sometime in there, we also want to fly kits and decorate eggs. Where did the break go?!

company's a-comin

We dearly love and look forward to all our Nebraska visitors (just in case you were pondering a trip -yes, we mean you, too!) and are so excited to have Adam's mom and sisters here in a couple of weeks.

It will be an intense long weekend of adventure! They have a redeye flight into Charlotte when they arrive, then we'll be up again at dawn to drive to Charleston for a day trip. Adam's sisters have not been on one of the amazing historical carriage rides through the old district, so we'll do that first thing.

After that, it's our standard lunch at the Charleston_CrabHouse- Rayzer and Grandma C's orders! Sis is growing a tad weary of eating there and wishes there was a Chick_Fil.a nearby, but she is actually one of those kids who really LIKES seafood, so I'm not sure what the complaint is all about.

Then we'll hit the beach at Isle_ofPalms for the rest of the day.

The next day (Mother's Day) Adam will complete the process of ordination and gain his official "pastor" title during morning service. We are going to serve a light lunch after 2nd hour, then youth group meets in the evening and Adam will be teaching that.

Monday, Sis has standardized tests all morning and the boys will be in school. I'll take our lovely guests and head to the Billy_GrahamLibrary in Charlotte for a tour and lunch. Tuesday morning we'll probably visit the boys' school before taking the gals back to the airport for a midday flight home.

We're counting down the days, and glad they are, too!

birthday revue

Since we didn't have the blog going through the months of the munchkin bdays, I put some highlight pictures into a slide.

Rayzer had fun w/ a few friends at ChuckECheeze, Xan went to a local hispanic mall that has a huge indoor playground and had a BLAST- his party was Web.kinz themed and his daddy won a kangaroo web.kin out of a claw machine right there before the party started-yay! Sis had some friends over to hang out- that's what almost-teenagers do best. Wilsonator opted to save his outing for warmer weather, as he wanted to take his best buddy with him to the N.ascar Speed.Park at a time when they wouldn't freeze to death. They went a couple of weeks ago, but daddy took the boys and didn't take the camera.

really? bunny allergies?!

Our neighorhood put together a spring picnic & egg hunt the first Saturday of this month, and 2 of the kids were particularly delighted in the surprise that one neighbor brought over from his house:


Sis had brought Chloe (her gray kitty) on a leash to the picnic, but it wasn't working out very well and we had to take her back home. Really not a big deal since there were other furry cute things to occupy her.

After 10 minutes or so, we quickly realized that Xanman was breaking out in hives all over his wrists, itching his chin (typically Wilsonator itches his chin when he's having breathing issues, so we knew exactly what that sign was all about), and complaining that his chest was starting to hurt.

We hadn't even eaten lunch yet, and typically something he eats is what will send him into a reaction, so this was odd. Since the hives were only on his wrists, we figured out that it was the bunnies! :(

I've heard of MANY allergies over the years now, but I guess bunnies was new to me! A quick dose of ben.adryl and he was fine- which was also good measure since we were about to partake in a potluck picnic where surprises of the allergic nature are lurking around every plate.

Wilsonator and Rayzer seemed to have very little interest in the bunnies. It was the coolest thing to see them playing corn-hole (that's what they call it here in the south) with a boy that just moved here from Vietnam and speaks not a lick of English. They were having a GREAT time!

lost in the tree house

There tend to be lots of reading obsessions in our house, and we're now to the point where the youngest munchkin is in on the kicks of a great series:

MagicTreeHouse is the name- reading them IN ORDER is the game. Rayzer is quite insistent that he follow them by the numbers, which is a challenge for a series that now has close to 40 titles and all of them are very popular.

He came home from school very frustrated yesterday that we weren't stopping by the library to pick up #22-#28 that we put holds on at the library. It was a teary lesson on the concept of a hold at the library not being like a drive through order at Chick_Fila.

Jack and Annie's adventures have really captured his attention, and I love that a history lesson is woven in so beautifully in the stories.

lunchfeast saturdays

This is the time of spring for the frequent trek to Wake Forest for Adam's classes. After this weekend, he has just one left for spring classes (he took 3 this semester).

We all got busy getting housework done and a little spring work in the yard, then found that we were famished by the time we took a break at 12:30. Hence, we issued our "lunchfeast" (formerly known as brunch or lunchfast, but neither of those suited our definition very well). We are a family who doesn't often have a cooked breakfast unless it's Saturday or a day off from school.

Got a couple of new fancy new pancake flippers (both the utensil, and the sweet boy who begged to manage the task), and he happened to be armed with a bowl of ghiradelli_semisweets to adorn the lovelies.

Sis was manning the egg duty, and she's become quite the scrambler. Being a young lady who is not fond of meat products (like her momma), she definitely enjoys a few or twenty eggs in her diet!

We agree that Daddy missses some great stuff while he's off at seminary class, but we know he's filling up on all that great knowledge, too.

Oh, and just in case you were curious, we left all the cupboards open so you could see how much spring cleaning needs to occur in there as well. ☺

another april foolery

We don't get overly dramatic when it comes to trickery on April_Fool's Day in this house. I remember fondly the ongoing trick between my parents and my brother Andy regarding the early morning phone call and his falling for it- year after year.

However, Xanman is a little difficult to resist when it comes to this sort of thing. He is our most dramatic, after all- and often irresistable when it comes to this sort of thing. I'll try to keep the story short...

Xanman has been really eager to earn the "T.errific_Kid" award at school this year. There is only one student per class per month that is chosen to receive the award, and it includes a packet of coupons for free french fries, Chick_filA dinner and prize toys to various locations around town (do you remember he's also the foodie in the family?).

As the first Friday of each month approaches, he expresses his longing to be chosen this time, only to end in disappointment when it's one of his classmates. A few months ago when Wilsonator was chosen, he was teary once again.

Well, the morning of April 1st came around, and we were notified earlier in the week by our principal that Xanman had been chosen to receive the award. The ceremony was to be Friday morning (April 1). After the kids woke up in the morning, I pulled Xanman aside to let him in on a little secret...

"Xan, I know how hard it is to rejoice for others when good things happen to them that you wish for yourself. It was hard when Wilson got his award, and I need you to be happy for Rayzer today."

Ohh-what an evil lying mommy I am! Xanman had a few little tears. He WAS excited that Rayzer would get T.Kid, but, well, you know.

So when the annoucements came at school, Xan was marching up to his teacher's desk as they began so he could request to go and watch Rayzer get is award. Upon reaching her desk, he heard that Ray's class had chosen a different child. Very confused, he went to sit down and try to figure out what happened. Within a few minutes, his class was called and he heard his name.

I was waiting near the stage for everything to start when he ran in with his standard ornery face.

"April Fools, Xander!" He was not angry, and agreed it was a FINE trick. The bag in hand full of coupons, and my hugs and apologies afterward covered any multitude of trickery-based lies of the morning.

kittencat birthdays

Sis's kittencats have definitely been a highlight of her year (well, life) so far. Our family rule is that the kids will be able to adopt a pet when they reach middle school age, and the entire financial and personal responsibility will be theirs. So, if I find a starving animal dragging itself across the room, against my better humane judgement I shall look the other way.

She's a GREAT mommy to her kitties, and spends every penny of her purse money on treats and toys and furniture for her babies. The lamp in the photo is from one of her dear friends in Fremont, NE who spied it at a yard sale and had to send it.

Sis is one of those animal lovers that could be either a cat or dog person (I actually think she's probably more of a dog person), so she finds a happy middle by leashing up Chloe (the gray female) and taking her out for walks. Casey (the orange male), will only allow Sis to drag him across the ground in a leash- not a pleasant sight. He's just the laziest thing you ever saw.

Well, the kittencats turn 1 at the end of April, and I hear there are grand festivities being planned. I think Sis will spend more time and energy on this shindig than any birthday celebration she's been a part of thus far in her 12 years!

mint and milestone

April_Fools.Day is a rather memorable day in our lives. 16 years ago on April 1, Adam & I got fancied up and went to my jr. prom- our first date.

Fast forward to 2011- and a great time in the life for reviving date nights. Our children have finally reached the age where they are able to care for themselves and their surroundings without destroying either- at least for a couple of hours. We've tested this out several times in the last few months, and they're doing great!

Adam & I decided to take in the "First_Fridays" event at the Mint in uptown Charlotte. We had seen the other museum location on an anniversary date the first summer we moved here, so now we have seen both. There was live music, crafts, free henna tattoos (the line was too long for that- bummer), and all the gallery areas were open. My favorite part was seeing the paintings and costume collection from the late 1700-early 1800's, since that era is a major focus of the art & music class I'm leading at Sis's homeschool co-op.

So hard to believe that at this time next year, we will have spent half our lives as a crazy pair of kids who have quite enjoyed one another's company. A year after that- we'll have been married for as many years as not. And none of it possible without our loving God at the forefront. How could we not love Him more than each other?

someday when i'm a botanist

Yesterday was one of those delightfully perfect spring days. There was frost in the morning, and it was really warm waiting in the car lane at school, but when you were outside after the noon hour...ahhhhh!

There are some flowers blooming here in the south right now that just look too perfect to be real. Upon walking out of church last night, I was compelled to stop and touch the large white flowers on the bush outside the door. They totally looked like a silk bush from the neighborhood craft store.

I have no idea what the names of most of these flowers (and flowering bushes) are, but I sure do appreciate their beauty. The gardens here in town are full of all sorts of things in bloom right now, so it's the best spot for spring pictures. It is a rare thing to come here and not find someone (other than us) snapping pictures. When I have my own beautiful flower garden someday, I hope to learn the names of them all.

It's also a bonus that this lovely garden area has a cool fountain to get wet in and ruin your new outfit after mom says we can stop posing. Thankfully, that didn't happen this time around.

one of these things is just like the other~

Wilsonator's glasses arrived today, so we were able to swing by after school and have them fitted before stopping at the beautiful gardens for Easter photos.

Now he and Xanman have the same frames, just different colors. Wilsonator's old frames were pretty beat up and most of the paint had worn off, so these are fresh and handsome. We got both boys the "easy-twist" brand, but were warned by the optician not to make a big deal about the name on the frame- it usually causes kids to want to show off the flexibility to their friends. Then they're back to the office the next day getting them repaired or replaced.

Kids are kinda extreme like that, you know.

movin' on up

Mr. Rayzer Jayzer has really loved being at school this year. He missed the cutoff to begin traditional kindergarten by 2 days, and the district wouldn't budge. (we understand, as this opens a can of worms for everyone wishing to get their kids into school/free daycare for all sorts of reasons) Thankfully, our school received permission to open up a full day k-4 program that runs the same schedule as the upper grades. We have lower enrollment at our school this year, so an extra classroom for these kids was not a problem. Also, our principal was kind enough to allow our little dude in without the lengthy registration process since our family has been a part of the school for a few years now. He has had a fabulous k-4 teacher and assistant, and we love them dearly. He's also been moving to a regular kindergarten room for reading groups each day, and he loves the greater challenge of material (and also getting to be in a group with our next door neighbor!).

A few weeks ago, I asked to meet with his k-4 teacher and the kindergarten teacher he has reading groups with. I wanted to discuss next year and throw around some ideas to keep him challenged and excited about learning. We were all very excited that Rayzer was given permission to complete the last quarter of school in the kindergarten room, then move on to 1st grade in the fall. He is very driven academically, and loves all the challenge that his older siblings send his way. We have a fine group of 1st grade teachers, and I'm so glad we've gotten to know most all of them well.

Rayzer has been most delighted that he does not have to take rest time anymore (he needed it at the beginning of the year, but after Christmas break, he decided is was more fun to try to be sneaky during rest time than to actually rest). He is also excited that he gets to have lunch in the cafeteria now with the older children, since the k-4 class had their lunches in their room. They are working on money in math, and he now gets to be with his neighbor friend the whole day! God has been so good in providing this opportunity!

modern conveniences

Since the motor in our dishwasher has been dying a slow death, the machine has recently been converted into a drying rack for handwashed dishes. Rayzer has been most eager to be my assistant, and even small fights have broken out recently over who GETS TO HELP wash the dishes. Don't worry- it's one of those novelties that is quickly wearing off.

Just another one of those things we take for granted, but I'm also reminded of an article my sweet mother-in-law sent me awhile back about how the ladies of the family used to gather around the sink after a meal and unload all their emotions through the suds, soggy hands, and towels together. I think Sis and I could really benefit from this...and yet there she goes grabbing a paper plate again.

well hello there

If there is a face of the earth, I've apparently climbed back on the blogland version of it. We'll see how this goes. (yes, I'm like all the rest who have to give some sort of excuse-feel free to insert thy reproofs accordingly) The boys just began there last 9 week quarter of school for the year. They're ALMOST starting to count down the days to summer. However, they all have enjoyed this school year a great deal. No lack for drama- to be sure, but it is already full of great memories. In the past 2 weeks, we've had a show-and-tell item (borrowed from another brother without permission) get stolen, and (thankfully) returned. Now there are 5 of us in the family wearing corrective lenses, and our little dude was pleased as potatoes that he has been allowed to complete the last 9 weeks as a bonafide kindergarten student (which means he can move on to 1st grade next fall). Sis and I have traveled the roller coaster of our first year as teacher and student (and student and teacher in many respects, if you know what I mean). We are truly thankful for God's direction in taking this venture on in the middle school years, and are convinced that it has definitely been the right thing for our family. We spend Tuesdays and Thursdays in a homeschool co-op, so she has classes and neat friends to hang out with through the week. The fabulous field trips and homeschool connections here are an added bonus, as we got to attend an Anne Frank play a few weeks ago, go ice skating, and are hoping to hit one of the zoos this Friday. I see an art gallery trip ahead sometime in May (one in downtown Charlotte has an original N.Rockwell- you've gotta come see it, Grammy!)

Having 2 kitties in the house has been, well, interesting. Sis adopted them at the start of her school year last August, and they will turn 1 at the end of this month. They are a delightful brother and sister pair, and I fully realize now why Mom insisted that "pets are for outside". *sigh*

Well, I may be backtracking for awhile on here, but it's just as well to forge ahead. Our wonderful Lord has much in store, so thanks for stopping by either way!

more summer pages~

Just a few more miscellaneous happenings of late...



...thanks for stopping by!

on loan~

I do believe I'd nearly forgotten how to log into this blog! Ah...life. Just a quick, current snippet:


We started summer learning classes today, so the pace doesn't seem to slow over the lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer. We're studying botany in light of God's marvelous work in creation, and the kids are excited to begin some sprouts (let's see if they actually eat them at the end of the week!)

saturday's adventure~

Wilsonator got a great opportunity to go to this on Saturday, and I was so glad to get to take him there!

2 blessed~

I treasure the friendship with my mom *so* very much, and I'm glad my own 'singular girl power' in the family finds joy in spending time w/ her mom, too.

credits here

calapitter

Rayzer has been plugging away at his reading, and we're working on having him read loud and clear. We are hoping this will be helpful as he prepares for Kdg. testing in the spring. He is completely captivated by written words!